Wee Orcadian in the big World

Recap.2

2011-08-16T11:42:00.000-07:00

Saying goodbye to my mother was more difficult than i could have ever imagined.
We drove by her work to spend one last hour with her before i set off on the high seas.
We sat and the excitement flooded over me. My nerves were somewhat calmed by my mother doting on me, surely trying to fill me with enough cake and biscuits to last me till the next time i venture home.
The time flew by and before i knew it i was saying my goodbyes. Mum welled up, as did i. After long heart-felt hug we looked at each other and for the first time i saw not my mum, but rather a mother. She was looking upon her creation, a final check that she had done her best; given me an education, a good upbringing, taught me about the ways of the world and making sure that i was really going to be alright.
I bottled down all of my emotions at that point and gave a reassuring look as if to say that i would be back and oh boy would i have stories to tell!
We headed for the boat. I had been up and down that road so many times that i could of gone to the moon and back.
We arrived at the boat and as i organised my tickets there was a ruckus at the door.
Two of my friends burst through the door in a mad state, eyes glaring widely around and resting upon me before sprinting towards me and we embraced with tears nearly overflowing and excitement shooting through every fibre of my existence. Jason my ex, my past and on of my closest friends Claire who's built me up time and time again and getting me ready for life. My past and present came to say goodbye to me whilst i said hello to my future.
I posted a fleeting note on Facebook a few hours previously, the best of which i thought would be a few "likes" and perhaps a comment or two wishing me luck but the fact these two came to see me off was truly heart warming. I took my final goodbyes and boarded the boat. That would be the last time i would see my friends and family for over a year.

Recap

2011-08-15T07:59:00.000-07:00

Well, this past year (and a bit) has been quite the ride.
Let's start from the beginning...

The date was April 21st 2010, the outlook was bleak. A volcano in Iceland decided to erupt into full blown action. This would have normally been a rather interesting event for me however it played havoc with my planes to fly that day. My tickets had already been cancelled, my dreams of moving dashed and i woke up on that Tuesday morning with an aching inside, a feeling that I'm reminiscing just now.
I used most of the time that day to visit relatives before returning home to find a distraction from current events. This, of course, was difficult since the news was being broadcast over almost every type of media. However, there was to come a silver lining on the ash covered clouds.
Her name was - and I'm trying not to be the stereotypical homosexual - my mother.
She called me up at 4 in the afternoon, a hint of excitement in her voice, telling me that because of the ash cloud currently consuming northern Europe no planes were going. It was at this point i abruptly reminded her that this information was not new and (more to the point) not making me feel better. She proceeded to tell me that there were stranded Brits in Bergen, unable to fly back and thus the British government ask a ferry company to send a boat from Orkney to Bergen. Since i was living in Orkney at the time, this seemed like an opportunity that not only had to be jumped upon but darted, tied down and beaten into submission.
I called the ferry company at once, enthusiasm nearly overflowing. After much tooing and froing i managed to secure myself passage to Bergen. This was not going to be an easy journey, my fear of boats coupled with the 20 hour voyage was nearly enough for me to back out but i gathered myself, and my belongings, and prepared myself for the bumpy ride ahead.

A Poem

2010-08-07T04:38:00.001-07:00

Sweat glittering like faires dancing,
Sweet breath escaping in waves of wonder
We were so close, so connected.
People call it love, and it's opposing.

I felt it.
Thud, thud, thud: Thud. The heart beat of this symbiotic event.
There were two of us, not just him nor me,
Although the latter was soon not to be.

He withdrew
What a mess!
Anger, sadness, love, hate,
Pale, and loving the moment of course.
He left me there; lying, shaking
In disbelief of this magestic creature.
So strong and beautiful, perfect curves and a
Perfected Temper.

Slam!
He shut the door and fled.
This wonderous creation that had
Left a hole in my chest.

All copyrights owned by Steven Michael Flett

Back From My Travels

2009-07-04T15:25:00.000-07:00

Well. I'm back. Pure and simply.

And what an amazing trip!!!!!

I will be writting in way more detail but im at a friend's house at the moment and i've been drinking so you wont get the same kind of snappy witticisms that you've become acustome to.

Seriously though, it was an incredible event in my life.
This will be a quick overview for those of you who will follow this with a touch more subscription.
Bascially we saw the highlights and delights of Olympia, a county about 60 miles south of Seattle, Seattle the city itself, San Francisco - which by the way was truly outstanding - saw a Big Tree, a Drive Thru tree, a Town called Eureka and Cou's Bay (which is you come from Scotland is a little funny : explanation en route) and finaly a place by the name of Norway Park.

The people, the sights, the sounds, smells, places and things we saw and did all orchestrated to making this trip wonderfully magnificant.

Everything's a little le'poo

2009-05-25T13:52:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true. Life now is, more so than it has been, outlandishly boring.

And not in the good sense.

I seem to be on brink of something, however there are no sign posts to tell me what's in the great abyss beyond. Hrm...strange thoughts keep creeping into my head like unwanted insects and my central defenses are refusing to put up any protection. They all have the underlining theme of "Fuck, just go!", which i suppose isn't a surprising theme considering im only 19 and off to America in two weeks.

I keep getting this weird urge just to up and leave, like there's something better waiting for me in the lands beyond. I know there is: i know it. But, since money is always a problem, im rather restricted for solutions to my current case of mild insanity. At these times i tend to go into overdrive and analyse everything in every way possible and take into account every factor that could affect every outcome of everything. Perhaps now you're beginning to get a sense of the insanity im feeling?

America should hopefully quench my thirst for travel, and since i've never been to America before, it should spin my mind completely off it's axis and land - i hope - back on track for some knuckling down. With the bright lights, big buildings, interesting people and fantastic coffee im hoping, literally, to be overwhelmed by everything there. Yes, complete culture shock. I love it really. Then your brain goes into an almost reboot stage where it just needs some down time to take everything in. Which, in my case, is usually helped along by a beer or seven.

Im travelling with Sinead. We spent a year in Norway together. We met through the exchange program we both applied for and the story was in my previous post so go read it. Anyway, we're quite the pair of odd travellers. I do like to be at the gate on time, however, after realising that you always do have plenty of time (touch wood)smoking is always possible. Sinead, on the other hand, has a slightly different approach. Her approach is more do a drive by on our luggage and sprint like the mother mary running from satan to the next departure lounge. I do sympathise with her because it is never smart to be late and always clever to be prompt.

On this particular journey though i will be inhaling seven siggarettes before going to the departure lounge. This is due to the nine-and-three-quarter flight we have to endure to get to Seattle. It shouldn't be too bad really. I figure im going to take a mass of chocolate, bought at tax-free of course, movies on my laptop and Sinead for some laughs and good company.

Upon arriving in Seattle, im assuming we must make our way through customs like hearded cattle, and there's always someone who moo's! Just after the rather tiring flight it's quite frankly the last thing you need. Im taking my bagpipes with me so im looking forward to explaining that to some single-celled american customs officer.

Anyway, thanks for reading this. I feel oftern that rambling online is a great way to de-stress and clam down a touch.
Catch you later! Love love XX

Voss Folkehøgskule

2009-05-12T09:40:00.000-07:00

Here's a little summary of my time in Norway.

Pang.

Excitement concentrated into a horde of butterflies in my stomach. Sleeping the night before was about as much success as jumping off a building without a parachute and expecting a pretty landing. I had everything ready, in a material sense, but as for myself, that was a different story.
I was overcome with excitement, anxiety, nerves and fear all washing over me in a typhoon which I was drowning in. This was eased, a bit, by the fact I would be flying later in the day.
On the way to the airport I kept going over in my head what I'd packed; clothes, toiletries, violin, bagpipes, PSP, games, books, money, Passport. That's when the bolt of panic shot through me: Passport! Where was it? When did I last see it? Which bag? Funny how your body seizes up like a rusty engine at the very moment you need to be nimble like a cheetah, be able to search through all your belongings at super-human speed.
Right then, just the slightest touch against my jacket pocket and there it was, the friendly feel of my right of passage to the lands beyond, tattooed with everything anyone needs to know about "Flett- Steven Michael", including that horrendous picture which makes me shudder because cameras are always able to catch just the wrong side of me so they can turn me into the latest Igor.
Everything from arriving at the airport to when I stepped off at Aberdeen was pretty much a blur, overlapped with pure excitement and bewilderment; rabbit caught in the headlights.
It was starting to sink in when I got to Aberdeen, but only as fast as a feather in tar, getting nowhere quick. This was only made more real by the fact that I had a five hours wait to my next flight. Luckily I wasn't alone.
Her name is Sinead, a fellow Orcadian but the downside was that we'd only met once before and since we were going to be living in Norway for a year together, I felt very uncomfortable about the fact that we knew nothing about each other.
There were- more often than not- those awkward silences, you know, those painfully silent ones where your’re nearly exploding trying to find something to say. Then you end up blurting out just the wrong thing to say at an airport like "can you imagine if there was a terrorist attack here", and it's at that point you realise why you were quiet in the first place.
The thing about airports is even though everyone is in the same place, at the same time, they're not really there. You can see it on their faces. They look of home or away. They're thinking about their house, or friends or about where they're going and what they're going to do there. Then I start imagining what they're thinking "did I pack my camera?", "I did turn the oven off", "It's just a present, maybe I shouldn't have wrapped it before the airport". One thing that always got me were the security announcements, especially the one "Aberdeen Airport thanks you for your co-operation", well, I'm glad the Airport is happy, although after that point I start feeling as if the airport is alive and begin thinking what it must be like to be an airport. Kind of boring really, but this thought passes quickly when Sinead says something, it's something relevant that we can both speak about "So, what instruments do you play?"
I can't believe it, a choir in my head erupts into a chorus of 'Hallelujah!' So we get chatting about what instruments we play and what kind of music we play and so on.
The conversation is embedded with a few obligatory jokes about kilts and "True Scotsmen", followed by some warming obligatory laughter. It was kind of fake laughter in a way but nice to know that we weren't completely different. This kills about half an hour or so.
It's strange when you first meet someone, how you look at them like they're a shell, nothing more than this outside image, knowing nothing of what's inside. Then, with the slightest comment, the shell is cracked and torn and cast aside to reveal the person underneath.
We spent the rest of our time there slowly prying information out of each other, scared to ask too much or too little until we notice we can go to departures.

Pang.

There it was. Another bolt of excitement racing through me as I realise this was me leaving home for four months, not back until Christmas. We made our way through the security checks and to departures, one of the most restless places in the entire world. Everyone's reached the point of "just let me get there or I swear I'm going to disembowel everyone in sight", or at least that's what I imagine they're thinking. I was more a picture of calm, on the outside anyway. Inside, I wanted rip my hair out.
Nothing very interesting happened between sitting down and getting on the plane. The whole journey on the plane is still pretty much a blur. I'd done it twice before so it was the usual; pre-packed food, bi-lingual service- with a smile of course- and the less than adequate seating if your taller than five foot six.
We landed, my feet thanking the solid ground as we stepped into Bergen Airport, collected our luggage and caught the next bus to the cit of Bergen.
These buses were always over packed and very uncomfortable, with everyone glaring suspiciously at everyone else with that more than obvious "I know you want to steal my bags" stare.
As we stepped off the bus in Bergen my feet took back their gratitude. It was pouring down. Something Bergen is renowned for.
We made our way to the train station, I knew the way, Sinead followed at my side. I felt slightly protective of her, even though we didn't know each other, we did know each other more so than anyone I could have stopped on the street.
We ordered our tickets- a mixture of dodgy Norwegian and saying "til Voss" a lot- and made our way onto the train. We found some seats, together of course. Something in all that business about sticking together for safety, then again, it's not like we were going to sit at opposite ends of the train.
Our excitement was simultaneously thrown into full gear when the train pulled away from the station. Suddenly that feather was a brick and the tar was water. This, thankfully, sparked off conversation about what we were going to see, who we'd meet, what we'd do. We got onto the topic of money and how ridiculously expensive Norway was, and then,

"Tell me 'bout it!"

Sinead and me looked at each other with confusion as this American woman started talking about how her money was "worthless here".
Thus, we had the introduction of Patty, or as she said it "Paddy". A police officer from Los Angeles or in her words "a Cop from LA". This made me laugh because whilst I was thinking about learning a different language, I never realised the difference in my own language when travelling to different countries and meeting different people. This, over the next year, was to be made much more clear. Funny how the cultural and colloquial difference of four completely different people from around the world would give way to friendships that would last forever.
Patty was headed for Voss too, but that's where we parted ways as she was going for an adventuring holiday. As we stepped off the train, some familiar words started ringing in my ears.

"Orknai! Orknai! Orknai Øyane!"

There was an old man shouting something about our home islands so we decided to approach him.

"We're from Orkney", I said.
"Oh. Good. Come with me", he said and we followed him to a rusty red van. He opened the back and we deposited our luggage and he went onto explain that there was only enough room in the front for one of us and the other would have to sit in the back with the luggage.
I, being the gentleman I am, sat in the back, clinging to a fence that was clearly meant to keep dogs out of the front of the van. I knew it was dogs because the smell was so overwhelmingly pungent.
We drove for about five minutes until we pulled to a stop outside a wonderfully red building. The air was so fresh. It filled my lungs refreshingly and they felt anew. I looked around and there were two and three story buildings, all joined together it seemed. They all had a rustic feel about them, they were all painted a rich red colour and had white contrasting windows. Trees were everywhere, more than I'd seen in my life, all still bursting with leaves, autumn's touch not yet un-gloved. It felt like a wonderland with the maze-like buildings and the wondrous trees. I couldn't have had any inclination as to the friends, relationships, fights, tragedies, laughter and tears that would happen here, and more importantly, the home this place would become not only to me, but to my many waiting friends.

This truly is a wonderland:

Voss Folkehøgskule.

Back....again......

2009-05-12T08:47:00.000-07:00

Well, hello there big wonderful world!
Yes, i am back, although to whom it may concern i am unaware. I often think that blogging is slightly pointless because who is actually goign to read it? However, this is ofcourse contradicted by the comments that have been left on my blogg from people i dont know...SOOOOOO, thanks for the comments by the way! I do appreciate it when people put up with my random ramblings.

Anyway, life has been qutie eventful since i last posted, which i believe was sometime last year. I updated my profile picture so whoever happens to wander to my little spot of the net they can see what i look like.
So, since last posting i have moved back to scotland, got a job, made friends, lost friends, been back to Norway for a class reunion, christmas, birthday, exams (im tkaing higher english in a night class), visit from norwegian friends and a tattoo. Yeah, quite eventful...

Well, i suppose i could tell you about my tattoo - which i will post some pictures of when it's stopped scabbing - that i got last week. It's of two dragons i found on deviantart. Great website actually! Lots of really talented artists. Anyways, since i live on a small island of which attractions are getting blindingly drunk or sleeping a tattoo artists visiting is some-what of a second coming - and im not talking about that guy you met last friday. Hehe. So this guy, Max, comes here a couple of times a year and he makes his business through word of mouth. So the Word reached me, along with a phone number, and i made an appointment. I took my desired design to him and after a couple of complementaries and jokes he got to work. My dad deecided to join me too. He's a bit of a tattoo fanatic and covered head to toe in them. He's getting one too but not until Thursday. Anyway, swaying slighty off course here, hehe, i do that.

So, Max drew out the tattoo and made a transfer, which he then placed on my arm and thus i had my pre-tattoo. It's actually almost like a small premonition, you know, getting a glimpse of what shall be. Anyways, so he got to work, ah let the searing begin.

I should mention at this point that there's not actual searing or burning involved.

So. He starts, the sensation is quite peculiar. When anyone jabs you with a needle your first instinct is to flinch away in pain, but, when it's someone giving you a tattoo, you kind of just sit there. Make no mistake, it hurts like a bitch; but after a while you get used to it. So, he's made his start, following the pre-printed lines furiously. Time is money. Although everytime he stops it gives my body a chance to regroup and tell my brain in great detail that a needle has been punctuaring my skin about a thousand times a second. I dismiss this.
For such a rough looking person im amazed by the elequence of his hand. Following the art with so much garce im sure the Queen is re taking prep school again because of it.

After an hour and a half he's done. I look in the mirror and there it is. My new tattoo. I paid him, had a few more complementaires and left with the promise of buying him a pint when i see him out on Friday night. Which i intend to honour, but not in the "come back to mine" way. Seriously people, i know i need a man but not that badly. Anyways, that would make for a weird first date.

Hey, want to mutilate my body and grab a coffee? Yes charming. Hehe.

Anyways, i think this will do for a return, i know it's not my usuall, perky writing but i will hopefully get back into the swing of things with a few more posts.
Catch you all later, luvs ya! Muwah! X

Choo Choo to Budapest

2008-03-24T07:19:00.001-07:00

Well, im on the train just now and have been for the past 3 hours. It's 12 o' clock and im SO bored! This is one of those same situations that im hoping for something eciting to happen. You know, anything, like, oh say, the train crashing...umm, well no, cause in that case then i dont get to go to budapest, but i dont know.
Maybe something like a woman giving birth, hrmm....maybe not. I would kinda want the thing to happen to me. But not like anything spectacularely exciting, just something oh, i dont know, like maybe a train romance. Hehe, oh dear, why do i always want romnaces when im bored?

Rhetorical BTW!

Well, i do know why. It's because i need a man! Anyway, Ginny just asked me if i was writing a funny story, aka, SHE WAS SPYING! I know she works for the KGB or NSB or something like that.
Anyway, conspiracy moment over, although i've been having lots of them recently, hrm.....maybe my paranoi is returning.
I just went for coffe, but ofcourse you guys didnt notice because, well duh, whilst your writing/reading time doesnt really go by unless your giving a constant timeline update and i can tell you, this aint one of those fancy assed bloggs, hehe, anyway. The coffe, ofcourse, is boarderline drinkable and the muffin so over priced that im sure a group of nuns in romania just burst into tears.
But, all is needed in order to no.1 blogg & no.2 make it through this train journey. Smoking hasnt been bad. Managed to have 2 at some stops. Better than the last time i took this train which resulted in me having to have a nicotine patch, forgetting about it, having a fag when i got to oslo and then nearly fainting from the sheer rush of nicotine and the 6 hours without a fag.
Im considering to start to pick at my muffin, but im scarred that all that excitement wont last ,e long *sigh*, im so bored! My friend Oda is travel sick, poor honey. She just came back from the toilet and she's not soundsing or looking to great. Ah well, hope she feels better.
Im getting to the half way point in my coffe, which means im going to have to save the rest for the drought i just know this muffin will bring.
First looks are a bit dodgy, slightly lop-sided but it smells good. It's got that generic muffin look of a lump of dough thats been bombarded by artificial blueberries, rather like, well, a teenagers face, but i shant doddle on this for too long.
First tastes, good, moist, sweet but not overly. From reading the Packaging im apparently now enjoying the "wild blueberries" so i can be safe in the knowledge that that these have come from some free-ranged farm where the berries are fed on nothing but pure love and hippy juice - insert cartman shouting "God Damn Hippies!"
IF, these are blueberries then i would like to intriduce myself as a cabbage from Barcelona.
It's not to bad really, i mean, i have caffine pumping through my system just now, and im enjoying the delight of a 'Wild Blueberry' muffin so, life cant be that bad.

Hording Students!

2008-03-11T08:56:00.000-07:00

Well, where to begin... just come back from Budapest however, i will make my next post about that!

Today, well yesterday really, we found out that we we're being visited by another Folkehøgskule. Yes, super exciting i know. These little events do however give us the chance to "socialise", i use this term loosely because it doesnt really keeps its meaning, its more like we stare at each other for a couple hours until eating a.k.a when we're forced into the same room with limited space so we have no choice but to start off the uncomfortable conversations with "can i sit here?" and thus, we have contact! Hurra! *Waves arms*

Anyway. Yes so they arrived today. Kinda caught me a bit off guard, you know, i was just walking up the stairs outside of our main hall, going for a cigarette and then bam! Mental choke and a double take and im looking at around 80 students standing outside of two buses. They all kinda look a little lost, confused and like they they really want to be here.

They're putting on a for us tonight so i suppose i have to be grateful for that, but I'm yet to engage any of them in uncomfortable, semi-polite full with fake smiles, conversation. It probably will happen but if it doesn't, not really a big deal.
note- this is the point at which I'm so bored (not why I'm BTW) that i could start rambling on about how i hate/love meeting new people and how i always go unnoticed with being noticed and blah blah blah blah blah *please insert a tampon or a nappy for my mental diarrhea*

Anyway, cant really think of much else to write about although my previous comment may have been a lie, you know the one about my next blog being about my time in Budapest because I'm feeling the need to ramble, and since freedom of speech is still, well a little in effect on the Internet I'm going to use this to my advantage and ramble ,my little heart out, hehe....

see you in a sec! MWAH

2008 Baby!!!!!

2008-02-29T06:20:00.000-08:00

YAY!!! HELLO!!!! IM BACK!!!!!......*cough* ok then well just a little hello then.

Yes, i am well aware of the fact that i haven't posted in well, what seems like an eternity now *cowers in fear*, i'll try and keep this up thoughm i dont think i want to stop posting, it's just, that, well, ok im sorry for anyone who actually reads the random ramblings of moi. BUt it is 2008 now so new year new start and all that jazz....hehe......

Well im off to Budapest on sunday with my music class from my school here in Norway. Very exciting stuff i know. I am very excited, although i know next to nothing about the place but that's ok, we're all here to learn, or are we????? this makes me poder *alarm sounds* "steven is pondering! steven is pondering!" hehe, whoops. Thats my alarm which tells me if im pondering whilst blogging so as i dont go of on random tangents.
Anyway, yes, aahhh, budapest. It will be great for me because fags there are öber cheap i hear so i am going to bring back as many as humanly possible, or as many as is non-lethally good for my health. Oh my, my best friend here at the school didnt try to kill herself the other night but she did take 10 Ibuprofen for, in her words, "to sleep better". However, i thought slightly more of this sleeping problem because, well i know that she's not exactly been having the best time so i went and got another close friend of ours and she happens to be like a teacher/student, anyway so she called on of the teachers and now evertyhing is, well, fine. As close to fine as george bush is to passing 1st grade. However, she decided that this school isn't really for her so she is going home for a while. Lame, thinks me but it was her choice and i just hope that she gets better.

Yes so class trip to Budapest, we are, pfcourse, going to some sights like Opera, Museums and such. Everything is kinda of music related, ofcourse-thats the 2nd time i've used ofcourse like that-, since we are a music class. It should be fun. Im staying in a hotel room with 3 of my friends so it's not like i have to stay in a room with anyone i dont like.

ANyway, the lack of nicotine in my blood is making go the ever so tiniest bit homocidal so im going to go make some tea now and take a fag.

P.S. I do apologize for the lack of anything that remotely resemble the english language, since coming here its kinda been a bit down hill for my 1st language as words and translations tend to get mized up but maybe i can just blogg all that out of my system.

Peace Out!

something's just hit you....

2007-09-09T01:35:00.000-07:00

its weird how it just happens.
BANG!
And your hit. Concrete blocks out of nowhere. Mist forming in your chest afterwards in the wake of what just happend. Stomach in knots of this new information.
I dont know whether i want to discuss this information as it would involve m stooping down to the level of EMO, aka discussing my problems online, which is clearly not the best way.
I dont care about whats happend, it doesnt really make a difference, it just annoys me at how it can move on without caring, without even a moments notiice, then the blocks come again. Im not much liking this.
Im stopping smoking today also, you see im in norway and i just ran out of tabaco last night so today is going to be hard especially with this news. Hrm, i need 7 11 or coffee from the Dehli!
But i know exactly what i need and i cant get.

Hrm, other things have been violently pushed out of focus, i hate information however it is one of the things i crave, much like a cigarette now. There is clearly so much other things that take presidence over this but they wont come back into the picture.
I need to find something to do today that involves little energy but much interest, this could b e a ay of PvP on WoW. Guess that'll do for now, until my care packages arrive then i can start smoking again, but will i? This question shall be answered when i come to it, no point skipping ahead in the paper, i wouldnt be able to figure it out anyway.

Bye for now people, peace out! V

I wonder......................................

2007-08-21T01:43:00.000-07:00

I wonder what someone who found my moleskin would think? In my head it plays as some random (Hot! of course) Italian publisher who finds it, he reads it, thinks everything is incredibly well written (although we know it isn't) and deep.
After reading it he publishes it but with plans on finding the author: me!
So, you still keeping up?
I'm in a coffee books store, drinking my coffee, pondering worldly thought and flicking through some books when one particular book catches my eye. I go over and pick it up, begin to read and then realisation hitting me like a frate train i realise its my writing.
Shocked, stunned and amazed i look up the publisher and get in contact with him.
We arrange to meet.
We meet in a quaint little coffee
shop, just by a fountain. I see him. (i did some background checking
and that as to know what he looks like). Tall, dark haired, slim with
shoulder length hair. Penetrating eyes and bushly eyebrows. He asks me
where i lost my moleskin. I say i lost it at the fountain, which is
where he found it. After a few more questions confirming it was me who
wrote it he asks me to dinner. (At which point my poor little heart is
screaming "OMG yes!! He's hot!!!", but with self control and just a tad of dignity i calmly say yes).
We have dinner in this incredibly romantic which i think is a bit weird for 2 guys but I'm going with the vibe. He invite me to his apartment for "coffee". And i think we all know what "coffee" stands for so, GO FIGURE!!!
Teehee, i like this little story, it will never happen but hey, a girl can hope.

loves ya people!!! XXXXXXXXX

I want to be a Fish.

2007-08-20T04:30:00.000-07:00

I want to be a Fish.
Think of it. How would it be? Mind you, not a very long life but it would be cool.
Ok, at the doctors now. Sitting in the waiting room. Everyone's looking at everyone else as if the Plague is about to erupt again. "What he's got?", "Whys she here?". Conspirical minds flowing with visions of death. Slightly metaphorical and Emo-esque but oh well "I'm sensitive and dark, with low self esteem and they way that i dress makes everyday, seem, like Halloween." Man i love that song! And the Medic Droid. Check them out on youtube! Anyway. *Cough* Someone is coughing! AAhhh the PLAGUE i tell thee!!! lol, oh well. I'm a medieval type of guy anyway. This is very much like waiting at the Airport just without the flying, and those annoying repeated announcements.
The Fish are chasing each other, hehe. Like cat and mouse only with, eh, well, Fish. So tempted to run over and play with the kiddies toys! These seats are so uncomfortable! Do they actively want us to have back problems?
County show is tomorrow. But me and someone friends were up to see they rides tonite. OMG! so much fun!
Such an intense euphoria of adrenaline mixed with 'OMG dont puke!'. Its better when you haven't been on a ride before and your like 'OMG I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!' But then the ride starts and the adrenaline precipitates on the end of your tongue, which in it's self, along with the rest of your body, is like taking acid.

Make me so ANGRY!!!

2007-08-14T16:58:00.000-07:00

Why do people still feel the need to shout 'GAY!', 'Bender', 'Poof' and
the like. Although these things don't bother me (well they do but i
don't doddle on them) and i have my own ways of getting back at them.
It more upsets me because of the lack of social growth/acceptance. It's
like even though these idiots really have no idea why shouting slurs is
offensive but they still do it. And it must make them feel 'big' or
'hardcore' but it really all it makes them is ignorant.

I really would like to hear from anyone who hates gay people? Why is gay so
offending? It's not like gay people come on to straight people, it's
not like its any different sex-wise because a straight guy can stick
his dick up a woman's' ass so...I Just Don't Know!!!!!.

Ok, getting slightly more blunt here. maybe a straight guy doesn't like the thought
of getting shit on his cock and a woman thinks that if she was meant to
lick cunt she could like her own but still if he's gonna do it with a
woman like that, guess what? Same problem! I do say now, this is more
directed towards the gay man because it's always been more of a problem
for men to be gay than women.

Oh well, time for a fag!! Brb. Ok
back. I do realise that it will seem like no time has past but i don't
think making you read '........' for 5 minutes is very nice. Man i wish
i could fly. Slightly random but i saw a bird in my fag break.

Ok.

Lets get down and dirty here. Homosexuality is wrong in the eyes of
God. We weren't made for it so we shouldn't do it. This brought down
through a couple thousand generations and all the bad names that go
with it and then when somepre-pubescent chav squirts out a baby, all
that baby hears for the next 11 years of its life is 'poofter',
'bender' and 'fucking gay'. So when they are set free because there
mum's of her face and their dad's in prison they see someone they know
is gay and they slurs ensue but they aren't religious themselves but
they are using phrases from a religious background of hatred a
persecution. Wow, didn't know i knew these big words but yes, this is
basically my thought on the subject.

Really would like to hear back from people so PLEASE!!! Write back!!!!
Luvs you XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

What time is it anyway???

2007-08-14T16:50:00.000-07:00

OK, here's a random question. What time is it anyway? I mean, ok, sure, we have ways of denominating time and there's different time zones and stuff like that but does anyone know the real time.
Starting to ramble here.
basically I'm thinking like what would the time be if the clock start ticking as soon as the universe was made. Would it be 2:34am or 9:17pm?
I dunno...............cheque please! Oh, wait no. Thoughts please!
That's the one. Hehe, oh buhy buhy buhy. I jist don't ken. Anyway me thinks I'm going to leave this one alone............RANDOM!!!

OMG- blurrrhhhhhh

2007-08-08T01:49:00.001-07:00

Wow, today is slightly weird. I'm half bored, half tired, half I'll and half in desperate need of a fag. But, parentals are home so i cant have one. Ok, i realise that i just made myself into a whole other person with the whole 'half' thing but oh well.
I need to top-up my WoW account so i can play that for a little bit before i go to Norway. I really need to get my Pre-q done and get my bonus healing over 1000 so then i can get an invite to Lux Æternia and then finally karazhan where i can start to get some awesome epics and get 00ber pwnage going on........ahem.........

Ok, geek moment over but i shall never DIE!!! seriously, you just cant kill the geek within can you but oh well, i like it!!!
Yes, so I'm off to Norway 2 weeks on Friday!!! OMG
i cant wait. Lots of thoughts streaming through my cranium just now.
"What to say? How to say it? Will they like me? Will they hate me? Will
i have friends?" and then i have a cup of coffee and a fag and all is
well...........BUT I CANT HAVE ONE NOW!!!! And of course this would
have to be one of those moments wouldn't it. "Thank you karma. I do
love your little games" *scratches hole in desk*.
But, hopefully i
will be meeting some of my awesome Norwegian buddies at the bus
station. We shall go for coffee at 7 11 and i shall have a fag and i
need to get my Buss Kort topped up and then I'll decide which train i will be getting to Voss. More than likely a late one, just so i can hang about with friends, teehee.

Then it's off to Voss with me! Train Journey probably will be boring but im just gona load my PSP up with south park, my phone up with music and my head up with bull shit of how the train is going to crash and I'm going to have to live in the wild until I'm a ripe old age when people will find me and i wont be able to communicate, just fling fecies. Yes, charming.
Or i will just get to Voss, say a 'Howdy Doody' and be off up to my room. And hopefully i will be the 1st one there and ergo get 1st choice of bed and such. YAY!

Right, rambling over guys......Speaks to you later!!!!

Random thoughts..............lillies:S

2007-08-07T11:14:00.000-07:00

Why is it that all my random thoughts come to me after I've had coffee????

I'm going to make a blogg out of my random thought (aka what I'm doing now)

don't ask me because i just don't know. But hey, ask me anyway because well....you never know but its always nice to talk!

I dyed my hair- and i like it!

Is gender an illusion????

I fell down the rabbit hole, it tasted like chicken.

Well I've failed- lets eat BANANAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*JD Runs, trips, falls and lands on Lavern*
"You plannin' on makin' this worth my while?" OMG funniest quote ever.

Crying feels like you have a brick inside your chest and e great pressure pushing down on you. Then your face shrivels, you let out the odd squeak, whimper or moan and then the onslaught of howling and crying arrives. this is definitely one of the most peculiar acts from a human.

Airports

2007-08-07T10:49:00.000-07:00

Airports are not just places of travel but confusion, mistakes ,unrest and general chaos. You get the a sense of 'OMG, please just let me get to where I'm going.'
You just want someone to speak to you just to pass the time. Or maybe something exciting to happen like 'OH NO! I spilt my coffee!' Ah, coffee the magical substance full of brain kickin' action.
Oh 7 11, the wonder of Bergen, a home away from home in my eyes. Brilliant coffee, 20Kr, which is good in price by Norwegian standards. Then if your lucky, you get a free donut.
Ah that free donut.
Why is it that no matter what it is, we don't say no to free things? However, when your free to enjoy your little bundle of unsuspecting happiness you start to think 'wait a minute, what's the catch? Why did I get this? Is it broken, diseased or maybe full of some weird mind controlling stuff?' (which I'm convinced the government outs in the water, hehe, my little bit of conspiracy work)
Or, maybe after you eat it you go on to enjoy the rest of you day.
See. (i think). We-as humans- have this inbuilt thing to be curious/wary of anything and everything. But it is our sentience/ common sense (which isn't so common) that allows us to push aside these natural- sometimes unwanted- feelings and just get on with it.
Ok, i do realise i went a bit off topic but hey, that's what i do. hehe...

Sorry guys!!!! (especially Ice Cream!!!)

2007-05-06T10:37:00.000-07:00

Soz for not posting in a while, i have been really busy. I have some written up in my moleskin but i must get them on here.

Luvs you all XXXXXXX

Migraines- not for everyone

2007-04-19T10:45:00.000-07:00

Well, today's not been so great. I've been trying to suppress a migraine (with minor success) but with each attack my defenses seem to weaken. Its definitely gaining strength. Migraines are so annoying!!!!!!!
For any of you who do get them you'll know what im talking about. Your head feels like its about to explode, you cant concentrate, everything you smell (and i mean everything) is SO strong it makes you feel nauseous, or like your insides are taking tango classes. Migraines are generally just shite.
There are many different cures to them-i've tried most of them. Diet related, nasal spray, injections, the woiks. However, the one that works for me is 2 x 200mg Ibuprofen, 2 x 500mg Paracetamol and plenty of Coffee. Oh and about 3 hours sleep. Argh, I hate migraines but it's such a great feeling knowing that its gone.
I really hope none you get them. Anyways im outtie now, Toodles!!!

The Beetle

2007-04-19T10:33:00.000-07:00

A beetle runs up the page of my book. It gets to the
top where the pages part, i let them spread. Why? To allow a challenge?
To assert my power over such a meagre creature? But alas! This 'meagre
creature' has out smarted me, for it has wings and can fly, and so it
does. It flies away and that is that.

So, is this such a meagre
creature? It can do something i cant. I envy this creature now but i
also appreciate it. Although i can get onto an aeroplane and fly off to
destinations unknown. This, however, has been achieved through
mechanical means. What the beetle can do, and this is why i envy it, is
fly using its own body, manipulating the air like a Dolphin in water.
This has taken millions, billions even, of years to develop and
prefect. But is the human means of flight 'unnatural'? We're using
whats around us, combining things to our advantage. This raises yet
more questions.Aahh my life, an on going bombardment of curiosity in my head. This requires coffee.....

The Park

2007-04-19T10:08:00.000-07:00

Im sitting. Here, in the Park. If you can call it that. We dont. We call it a 'Public Garden' really, but thats what it is, a garden.

Im smoking a cigarette, legs crossed, sitting. The wall next to me is definite, defined, it has a purpose.

Do i?

Im waiting. For what? Anything really. Just waiting. But i know im waiting, not just sitting. The breeze flows over me occasionally, the birds talk about their plans for today. This place doesnt reject me, im allowed here. Does that mean i might not be allowed here at times?

The sun is out, im
not bathing though. It's bathing me. A person has just come into the
Garden. A tourist. I hope he speaks to me. I would like to be spoken
to, to learn, share stories, commune. The smoke from my cigarette
drowns my hand and washes over me. An owl, strange? It has such a
defined voice, calling forth with its well known hoots. I long for a
voice like that; well known, defined, me.

The seat i first
came to was wet, this one is too but not as much. I like this one
better, it has a wall next to it. It offers something intangible , something that i cant quite put my finger on.

im somewhere else now. Another kind of park. This one has a burn, more people, cars and birds. Crows. Singing their morning songs. This is one voice im glad i dont have.

Nice & Depressive- Mutually Exclusive?

2007-04-17T11:18:00.000-07:00

Depressive- a feeling of sadness, emptiness and feeling like nothing is good. It can also be the way someone or something appears.
This is a tricky subject. He/she is depressed lets keep away, we might catch it. Is it a disease? Can we catch it from close proximity? Or is it like a smile, spreading to those we meet? So many questions.
Nice- An action, description of somebody or something. Oh, she looks nice, but what if she's depressed? How can nice and depressive be mutually exclusive when they exist in the same body, perhaps in different forms but still there?
Ok, I'm not sure if I'm making much sense. But then again i don't usually. See, I'm nice to people, polite even. Why wouldn't i be? no need to be nasty. I may dress all in black and have long black hair but does that mean I'm depressed? NO! It means i like the colour black! These are some of the pre-misconceptions that people make. This annoys me, ggrr.
hehe, anyway this still brings us back to the question: Is Nice & Depressive Mutually exclusive?
Can an action of niceness be depressing? I think this is all a bit confusing. It all really depends on someones upbringing, their social group and the current events in their life. So, to end this train wreck of confusion, Nice & Depressive and NOT mutually exclusive.

Sometimes i wish the World came with Subtitles

2007-04-15T10:18:00.000-07:00

This is very true. If the World came with subtitles then we would at least know what was going on instead of thinking "Ya wah???".

Now i have just come back from Norway (which is where i got my inspiration) and whilst i was there i was staying with friends. We would sit down to dinner and of course conversation would ensue. So there's me, sitting quietly eating my dinner, trying for the life of me to figure out what the hell anyone was saying and there would be an eruption of laughter. I felt so embarrassed at times like these because you tend to laugh at your friends families jokes (even if their not that funny, or a bit racist as the case sometimes may be) but im sitting there still eating my dinner and thinking "should i join in? Or just keep eating? Oh damn my carrot got away again.....oh yeah wait the joke. Was it a joke? Maybe it was a pun. Oh dear im lost. Right just focuse on the food. Food food food. What's this??? Lets try it*puts fork filled which unknown substances in mouth*. OMG!!! This is fowl!! I cant spit it out, oh no oh no oh no oh no!!!! Ok just swallow it and smile......well, go on then, do it! Come on! Its just some slimey stuff, just SWALLOW!! *swallows* OMG its even worse where there are no taste buds!!! OMG OMG OMG!!! They've stopped laughing". Ok, sorry about that. I tend to go off on random tangents which has nothing to do with what im actually blogging about. So, anyway. Now, this subject doesnt just apply to foreign languages, it can be usefull about the house say with animals for instance.
*A dog barks*
"What is it?? You want out for a pee??"
*Dog barks* "No i want to have a bath. And not with that crappy dog shampoo! I want the real deal, you know, the L'Oreal stuff with the fortifying vitamins and minerals in it. I aint just any dog, i'll have you know that im nearly a pedigree. If it wsnt for my mother playing miss whore'alot in the park a couple years ago."
"I bet your hungry!!"
*The dog looks* "Oh, and dont even get me started on that abismal excuse for food you make me choke down every night. What eer happend to steak dinners, or at least a salal once in a while. i mean i've gained 3 pounds! 3 POUNDS!!! Do you know what that generic crap does to my figure??"
"Lets get you some food then. Want an egg?? I bet you do. Its sooooo good for your coat."
"Do i look like a body builder? I do NOT need an egg and especially not one of those out of date one you brought back (or shouldi say smuggled back) from greece. I know they've been laying in there for at least 3 months"
"There we go, its your favorite 'Lamb and Rabbit' but i put an extra special something on it for you"
"YAY!!! *frowns* WORMING TABLETS!!!!